1. Going to the grocery store with you is a commitment - both of extra time and money. You are the slowest cart-pusher ever. You got lapped by the dude on the Rascal.
2. You love to look at every new item the food industry has produced since the last time you were at the store - including watermelon Gushers, organic cereal bars, salad dressing, and 8 kinds of hot sauce.
3. You really love weird produce. And you like to push the cart because "it's man work."
4. Ringing up the final tab, which was higher than normal simply because you were there, mind you, causes you to get an expression on your face akin to what I imagine you having an aneurysm would look like. Complete with eye twitching.
5. After bringing home a literal car load full of delicious food items, you announce in the whiniest voice possible for a grown man to muster, that you're upset because I didn't even buy you a cookie.