Friday, April 27, 2012
On the Weigh: But steady.
I shouldn't complain. It's moving along. I guess it never really happens fast enough. I mean, no amount of weight loss would be rapid enough to turn back time and prevent me from gaining it all in the first place.
It's embarrassing, you know - to have gained all this weight. I've never been "skinny" but certainly not this big either. I think about it a lot, especially since I put myself out there so much with facebook and this blog. It's painfully obvious, even in spite of my recent progress, that it's really visible. When a couple of Kenny's friends were making off-hand comments last weekend about a girl one of them used to date and how big she is now, it made me incredibly uncomfortable. Do people have those thoughts about me? I hate being so self-concious, and Kenny tells me not to think like this (because he thinks I'm pretty and all that), but it still stinks. I'm all in my own head.
Nothing makes me wish more to be on the other side of this journey, to be living a healthy and fit life, and have that part where I gained a ton of pounds in college and then more after just be a phase in the dim past.
It could not happen fast enough.