I am really trying to channel my frustration into something productive. Some days are better than others. I have had a good week - no overages on calories, good activity so far. I've either met my FitBit calorie or my step goal (sometimes both) every day since Saturday. I'm on quite a workout streak - three days in a row. Um, why am I not at goal yet? THREE WHOLE DAYS. I am enough of an immediate gratification person that any and all patience with this process is becoming quite thin. That seems to be the only part of me doing so lately. I really, really love my FitBit, and being as active as I have this week is the only thing that's keeping me from going completely over the edge.
Damn this whole thing for taking so damn long all the time.
I am usually so good at being Chin-Up Charlie about this shit, but I don't want to right now. I'm sad, frustrated, depressed, and underneath it all, just plain pissed off. It really sucks to feel like your own body is your enemy, but that's kind of where I am at this moment. I keep buying cute clothes to try to cover up that fact and make myself feel better. So far, no so much.