A (kind of) Normal Day

I am still a mess, to be honest. Tears are imminent. My heart hurts. With Grandma in hospice, so we're all just ... waiting. It's awful but I am getting to the point where I know I have to get through this on a day to day basis. So I'm trying.


Kenny discovered this fitting card in a pile of papers in the kitchen and it's now on display in my cube.

I'm not wearing make up, my hair is kind of gross, but I am doing my best to eat something with some redeemable nutritional value and not be a total lump. Sadness is exhausting, but I can control at least a little of how I am feeling but eating, you know, a vegetable now and then. Sadly, green M&Ms do not count. 

strawberry-banana-pineapple protein smoothie

 

red pepper-tomato soup with brown rice and quinoa

snacks - I love tzatziki with veggies lately


 Dinner was a comfort food favorite: crockpot salsa chicken. I devoured them before snapping a pic, but they were delicious. It's the easiest and most mindless thing I know how to make, which is perfect for my mental state recently - dump frozen chicken breast in a crockpot, add a jar of salsa (I used one and a half because of the volume of chicken) and a small jar of chopped green chilis. Cook on low until you get back home from work. Shred and serve. We had Wholly Guacamole with them and I am already looking forward to the leftovers.

Lovely flowers from one of my besties ... made my day (and maybe made me cry a little)

With everything else going on, the nice thing is that I can throw myself into focusing on my health and fitness, and it's a wonderfully welcome distraction. I am feeling better today after eating actual real food yesterday.  I decided not to start this round of bootcamp with my work friend - with everything going on, it felt like too much to add to my plate.  I will more than likely do the next round, which starts in February.  I have written out a workout schedule for the next week or so that I can do at home, and it felt good to move around and get lost in reps and routines during a Firm workout last night. 

 

I am already looking forward to going home again tomorrow to spend time with my family.  I don't know if it makes it easier, but it's what I think I need to do.

 

Oh, hi Grandma.